An unpolished, first-person, "true" account of femdom, reluctant coerced-bi, blackmail, and permanent humiliating service to a very manipulative ex-girlfriend.
So my ex-girlfriend dumped me recently and said that the only way that she'd even consider taking me back was if I tried giving a man a blow-job. While we dated, we had a very unorthodox and very kinky relationship, and she thrived on taking control and seeing what she could get away with, and I loved her for it. But despite all our fun games and all the new, kinky stuff that she got me to do, the fact remains that I am straight and her latest idea crossed a firm line. But she was super hot and had all of the "powers" that hot women do, and so she always seemed to have a knack for getting her way. The truth is that things were a no-contest even before they began.
Toward the end, she used to pester me a lot, trying to get me to do it, in fact, insisting that I do it, saying how it would be "no big deal" and how hot it would be for her to see me on my knees, in the most submissive posture ever, blowing a guy, and then swallowing his cum. She always teased that I was probably a natural, and all of that (especially after my technique on her dildos got quite good - yes, that was a part of our games, but dildos are harmless and real cocks are a totally different thing). And now that she dumped me, she said that this was the only way for us to get back together.
Well there was no way I ever wanted to go through with something like that, but I pondered it for a long, long time. And the final answer was that I needed her back, no matter the cost. So, long story short, in a moment of desperation, I gave in and did it. She set up the event with a "gay" guy that she knew so that she could watch the whole thing. Without getting into the details, it was utterly humiliating in every way. But then came the worst part. When I was done with it all, cum-drooling and disheveled, she just laughed at me, calling me a pathetic sissy cocksucker, as she went to embrace her "gay" friend, who happened not to be gay at all, but the new guy she was fucking! And she said there was no way she's taking me back now, after I sucked a cock, and that she was right, I was a natural. My heart stopped for several minutes as I sat, stunned and filled with panic and questions. And she just laughed and laughed and laughed, and so I left as quickly as I could, disoriented, humiliated, and broken.
Then later that same night, she sent me an email saying how thoroughly enjoyable it was for her to watch me do that and she thanked me, but reiterated that she doesn't date cock-sucking sissies. She explained how she totally set me up (as was her plan for a long time), after realizing that I was the perfect candidate for her "get a straight guy to suck cock" challenge. She explained that there is no higher measure of a woman's power than being able to get a straight guy to suck a cock for her amusement. And she was simply gushing from excitement while thinking about it all, as her new guy fucked her afterward. And that was it, with her asking one last question, "How does it make you feel that I did that to you?" I just sat stunned, and could not think of a worse way to be used.
So, weeks later, this is still all I can think about. It really did suck, no pun intended, and I'm trying to put a happy face on it the best that I can as my mind races around like a lost, panicking child. I'm thinking many things, like how straight could this guy be? I'm thinking if he was okay with being sucked off by a guy, he's bi at least, right? I'm thinking that there is a difference between not wanting to blow a guy, and doing it anyway versus actually wanting to. But with all of that, and my macho competitiveness aside (what is left of it anyway), I'm thinking that I still do miss her, and desperately so!
But it all still haunts me. When she was laughing at me, explaining things, and I got pissed and called her a bitch and other things, she just smiled and said, "No, sweetie, you are the bitch, and you'll always be my bitch!" Haunting words... What a messed up night, and I'm trying hard to put it behind me. But is it possible that I still need her? And in any case, will she even let me go?
And then after some time and just as I was starting to feel okay with myself, I got another email from her, in which she told me that she was really sorry and didn't mean what she said, and that this time, for real, she'll take me back? if I blow another guy for her.
She's proving to be more ruthless and evil and I ever expected, and her games and taunts cut deep. She really seems to be enjoying wrecking my mind, but at the same time, she says that it's all in my best interest. She says that she knows what's best for me, and that, even if I don't recognize it, I need to be liberated, and that I need to trust her. She said that if anything, I should be thanking her, and profusely, and showering her with gratitude for what she is doing to me. Even through the email, I can feel her smirk and laughter.
So just as a side note from my tragic tale, I can't help but to have a whole new respect for women (and disdain for one) after being tricked into giving that blow-job. It was actually no small thing, and it was very hard to do, physically. It took time and effort to get that asshole off and my knees, neck, mouth, and back were sore and tired, and I gagged several times from his cock, and then his cum. It really required a vigorous, sustained, athletic effort to get him off, which I wasn't suspecting. But the worst part was the aftertaste. I swallowed his cum as quickly as I could, but it was sticky and there was a lot of it. I guess I never expected that, because what blow-job virgin would, right? It was all quite unpleasant, and after rushing home, dejected, humiliated, and feeling way too used, I immediately brushed my teeth and gargled, twice, then showered. But the aftertaste lingered for a very long time. For two days later, it seems like I could still taste it, and it made me queasy the whole time. It was a constant reminder (that I couldn't shake), of what I had done.
So of all the lies my ex told me, saying it would be "no big deal" may have been among the biggest. It surely was a big deal that I only want to forget about... if I can, and if she'll let me.
It's now been weeks since my manipulative bitch of an ex-girlfriend put me through that traumatizing ordeal, and I have not had sex since. I know that I should get back on the horse and find a nice girl, but I've been kind of in hibernation mode after that humiliation. And as the weeks go by, I'm finding it more and more upsetting that my last sexual memory is of me blowing some asshole, in my first and only homosexual act, and of her then laughing at me. I know it's impossible, but I think I can still taste his cum. I feel so used and unclean. I'll get back out there, but it might take time to get some confidence back after being so shaken to my core. Can I ever trust anyone again?
But just as things seem to be settling down again, out of nowhere, my nightmare only ramps up. She's too good at this. It turns out that she has pictures of my disgrace, or so she says! She hasn't sent them to me and, says that she'll never share them with anybody, but she says that she did have a secret webcam set up and that there is a particularly cute picture of me in action, and that she cherishes those pictures as her greatest trophy ever. She said that she has always wanted to get a straight guy to suck a cock for her, and wasn't going to miss an opportunity to get her conquest on film. And for being the sweetest, most willing victim ever, she thanked me again and again, and asked if I have been going out on my own, seeking the cock that she knows I now crave. She says that if I haven't yet, it's inevitable that one day I will. And so she's a total bitch! And of course, she still offered to take me back, if I'll...
I need to salvage some dignity, and though hard, I ignore her taunts because what else can I do?
So uneventful, sexless months go by, and then as if inevitably, she lets me know that I simply cannot escape from her, and now my will to try is almost gone. It turns out that she was not bluffing and absolutely does have pictures of me, after emailing one to me as proof! She originally said that she'd never share these with anyone, but since then, she has changed her mind, and now I am really fucked!
She informed me that she has a new boyfriend, and that in a devious brainstorm, she got the idea that I should blow him too. In fact, she now wants me to blow ALL of her new boyfriends (at least once, after she persuades them to let me) for the rest of my life! She said that she knows that I still worship her and need to please her, and so it's only fitting that I should "endorse" all of the wonderful cocks that make her so happy. Instantly, I am devastated beyond devastation, and know that I have no resolve or freedom left. She explained further, that she wants me to do this "out of love and admiration for her", and "though we'll never have sex again, this will be something that we can still both share", and because, simply, "it would make her happy". But if those reasons are still not enough motivation, then she said that I need to do this to avoid having the pictures sent to my friends and parents (and I know that she would too).
So my horrifying mess is now complete. She thoroughly owns me and I cannot think of a worse or more humiliating predicament than having to sample, in the most intimate and submissive way, all of her future lovers (and she does have the capacity to date a lot). Before I even agreed, confident in her victory, she said that she can't thank me enough (in between giggles), and that I've made her the happiest girl in the world.
She always did have a way of getting what she wanted, but why does what she want have to be so twisted? So be it. It is time to raise the white flag and come to embrace my destiny. And just for completeness, when I'm done with her new guy, I think that I'll surprise her with a heartfelt thank you. At this point, why not? She has won.